I am a travesty

I wish I knew my ancestry

but i don’t because my own kin disowned me


I am racist towards my skin

ashamed of my people’s sins

i doubt we found amnesty


no, my face isn’t alchemy

I don’t think I

shapeshift into another ethnicity

yet some claim i am white

while some claim i am brown

i doubt i will ever be found

by anybody


i used to cut my flesh deep

so that i could escape the colour of my skin

or divide myself

like the adopted halfbreed I am


I don’t want to be a chameleon

I just want to be a solid person


i wish i could love all of me

but i don’t want to be this white girl

i don’t like this white world

But I’m not sure I feel comfortable with any of me


just feed me to the vultures

just a mutt who delves in all cultures

and never belongs


i just want to be a solid person

trying to find answers

but instead the pain worsens

i just want a family to belong to

I don’t want to trespass on a culture that can never be mine


i don’t belong anywhere

but my heart shows me how

all i have is who I have become to be

and i know who i am spiritually

they will never take me seriously

i will never have factual proof of my ancestry

they will never want me

disgraced and rejected

but I am still me


I don’t need history

to create the life that’s in front of me


I don’t need them to tell me who they think I am

I don’t need biological family to save me


I am a mystery

but I know who I am

that truth waits within me

I don’t need race to define me

my ancestry doesnt have to be my identity


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