Unsure

All I know is what they all say

and how weird it all is

and I like to keep a healthy dose of skeptic in me

that way I am never led astray

#

I don’t see anything around me all day

I am so oblivious

it feels like someone is changing my reality

right in front of me, playing a game

#

Always internally thinking

and my mind starts to fray

always eternally sinking

how do I find another way?

#

And here comes the men in alien costumes

they have been rearranging my furniture

sneaking in and out of my house

in mid day right in front of my face they stir

Oh yes sir, I see invisible aliens

or are they really from the stars

Why are they so obscure?

I don’t know if they want me to stay

I don’t know if they have time to play

I don’t know anything at all

I am so unsure!

#

Should I follow you halfway

should I look around me for an escape

should I follow you all the way?

#

Is my life on display in the museum of delay

I just can’t convey

what is on my mind because i don’t know anything today

#

I asked him why he lies about things I really love

and why my life is his

apparently I just never heard him properly

but when it comes to destiny, I never made it up

#

He says: I love you so don’t leave me

and his next words sound like a riddle or a quiz

and he leads me down a trail

of ever growing mystery, that I will never see clearly

why do I always fail?

#

I really tried to understand his point of view

but I don’t feel anything at all

other than that, I feel deja vu

my life’s synchronicity

it’s sort of bringing me closer to you

it really feels like a cliche

and i don’t know where to find you

down the hallway

maybe you were in my mind all along

or maybe I was wrong

#

and did you?

did you betray?

#

what the hell is going on?

what the hell is going on!

#

I see them staring at me from outside

even though my curtains are drawn

The sun feels so bright

even though I sit in the peace of dawn

#

Hey, are you around me now? Well if you aren’t

gather around me and come on!

I will travel to other universes

and there I will find someone

#

He’s so close yet so far away

I saw him earlier

He was prancing on my front lawn

like a white knight swan

and then he flew away

#

Oh why do you dissapear

every time I get so close to your trail

Oh why do I always fail…?

I’m sorry friend, I didn’t quite hear

my eyes and ears are unclear

and I seem to be lost out here

#

And my surroundings look like a confusing smear

And looking at you is like looking into a mirror

is this the new reality

they call New Earth?

Am I looking back in time

about a bajillion light years?

#

Yeah, I saw you sneer -_-

you don’t like what I’m thinking

you never support my thoughts

you never want to get too near

#

And you think I’m a crazy person in a game

you think I’m making this up, you think I’ve gone insane

but I’m not so vain

#

I’ve lost my sense of sane or my sense of way

does it really matter anyway

I’m no longer apart of this world today

and I’m not sure

about tomorrow

I’m just unsure!

#

As my guts start to decay

I see funny looking kids with green hairspray

and they think they know it all

but they don’t know about my pain

#

And as the stars twinkle in their disarray

joined by twinkling gems dancing a ballet

I think to myself that no one really knows

maybe not even those UFO’s

#

Hey Mr. Alien, please take me away

I don’t like it here anymore, I just want to start again

somewhere not here!

You can’t just leave me here

after implanting these things in my brain

I thought we were close….

I thought we were the same

#

No, that’s not why I am here!

I’ve had enough of these humans

they aren’t obeying my orders

they are nonsense

they are all disordered

nothing on Earth makes sense

#

And as I stand up, I feel kind of intense

I see his face through the billowy clouds of incense

and before he can dissapear

I ask him why am I here

#

And they give me gold chains,

aside from games,

also a crown and I frown and hand them a chain link fence

Oh I don’t mean to push you away in my defence

I’m just no longer feeling like who I am, I am existing in past tense

And the pain is so immense

My body feels like it is expanding

hence my lack of understanding

and in my expense

I guess two worlds are at war as they merge

It is that which we commence

#

But dad, I heard the call a long time ago

It’s not fair that I have to do these things like so

cleaning up the crime scenes of humanity

and why am I so destined

to be here for what feels like eternity

#

and why have I sinned

am I really free

am I just a rabbit

am I just an absentee?

#

I don’t see anything around me

I don’t know what is going on

and when you said I was talking backwards

I guess I can kind of agree

 #

It’s all a paradox you see

and when it comes to life after death

that is one thing I can guarantee

but when it comes to life

I really don’t know what I see

is there anything really around me?

#

What the hell is going on!

What the hell is going on?

#

Why do I feel like everything is moving on

without me as I just stand here

falling through the earth as it yawns

I guess I never moved

but how can I be so sure!

#

Was I captured?

Was I captured?

#

Did you betray me

in the Rapture?

in the Rapture?

#

Oh why is everything so obscure?

I don’t know anything anymore

I feel so insecure

with my reality

my reality has been altered

and my body

is changing

and my mind is so unsure

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Published by

S.D.G

I love playing badminton above all else. I also really love water - swimming, soaking in a hottub, spending hours in a steam room or doing polar bear swims. I used to be really into wilderness survival & kayaking, but now I enjoy the finer things in life, like relaxation, comforts, spas, riches and anything pleasant. Poetry and song writing is just how I express myself and cope with life. I have a history of mental illness, eating disorders and addiction, plus I was a cancer survivor. Spirituality and healthy living is really important in my life. My art and novel writing is something I enjoy sometimes but not all times. Some people tell me I should sell it but it's just a hobby. You are more than welcome to support me if you like: paypal.me/sdgeiger

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