Part Work Integration

A Poem To The Demon That Lived Inside Myself

I really loved you

I guess you really helped me through

When everything else abandoned me here

even myself – that coward that just disappeared

 

One day I was looking at myself in the mirror

and that’s when I saw you

No longer me anymore, just you

 

You gave me power when my soul was weak

you made me roar like a beast when I could not speak

you taught me how funny my illness was

and I still love you because

 

You are the only thing that gave me any reason to be alive

and now that I am stronger, I have this life

to turn back to

and that is all because of you

 

You may have made me hurt myself

and you may have controlled my body

but because of you, I am still alive

 

I won’t fear you and I won’t hate you

I will love you always and forever

you have no power over me

Now we can both be free

 

A Poem To Myself

 

Oh, you coward, you betrayed my lifeline

you ran away from something you saw in your mind

and for no good reason you gave up to die

you chose to commit suicide

 

How can i ever trust you again, with my life

you were supposed to be the only one to love me

but you took a knife

and all you did was cut me

so many times I can’t count

you abandoned me

in the darkness and let the demons take over my body

and I couldn’t get them out

while I was trapped inside

and you just left me here

while they controlled my life

 

You can’t just separate me like that!

I will never forgive you

for leaving me alone with the aftermath

of your innate evil

you are the one who chose that path

and you will never be anything other than that!

 

A Poem In Response To Myself

 

I’m sorry, I know I messed up

There is nothing I can say to ever make up for all I did

but now I am all grown up

Back then I was just a scared and feeble kid

I didn’t know you were there

I lost sight of everything,

I was so scared

When life opened its jaws I was so afraid of being swallowed

So I chose to die and left you so hollowed

I know you had no one else to turn to

so you turned to the demon that came to the rescue

I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me

but if you come with me again, we can both be free

you don’t need him anymore

I’m back and I will never let anything hurt you again

I promise

I’m sorry…

 

Let me show you how much I love you because

I’m stronger now than I ever was

I won’t give up on you this time

I won’t fail you this time

We can be together again

and take back our life

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Published by

S.D.G

I love playing badminton above all else. I also really love water - swimming, soaking in a hottub, spending hours in a steam room or doing polar bear swims. I used to be really into wilderness survival & kayaking, but now I enjoy the finer things in life, like relaxation, comforts, spas, riches and anything pleasant. Poetry and song writing is just how I express myself and cope with life. I have a history of mental illness, eating disorders and addiction, plus I was a cancer survivor. Spirituality and healthy living is really important in my life. My art and novel writing is something I enjoy sometimes but not all times. Some people tell me I should sell it but it's just a hobby. You are more than welcome to support me if you like: paypal.me/sdgeiger

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