These People

the other day I went to join a new game

and all the nameless people there beat me down and kicked me out

just an outcast shivering in my shame

they just stood there and watched me cry

they told me I had to take the blame

they took my soul, and just kept beating, then dug the hole, pushed me in

and watched me die

i don’t know what these people see in me that makes them think I’m so lame

but all they care about is

making sure I never win this game

 

sometimes i wish for recognition, sometimes i wish for fame

every chance I take, life beats me back down to the floor

sometimes I wish I was a different person, sometimes I wish I had a different name

sometimes I wish for something more

 

and I could never hurt them back because I’m too tame

I don’t know why I am the one who is always wrong

and I never see evidence of karma, it’s about time it came

and taught all these crazy people how to get along

 

if you want me to be confident then you’ve got to stop fucking with my mind

if you want me to be happy then you’ve got to stop fucking with my life

 

oh I try so hard to be confident, and sometimes I start to feel a trace

of it somehow

but then I hear nothing but insults and all my confidence is erased

everyone hates me now

sometimes i wonder if it’s because of my ugly face

or if it’s because I’m fat like a cow

why else would I be such a disgrace

and why should all of this hatred be allowed

and all the careless people never intervene

everywhere I go, people are mean

 

i have no one on my side

every single person

always hating me, no matter how hard I’ve tried

and as my feelings worsen

i wonder if they would ever be regretful if I died

 

but of course they wouldn’t care

i try so hard to keep my head above the water, but all they ever do is push it back under

but of course life isn’t fair

 

and after all the abuse I am still here

after all the beatings

after all the tears

although my soul is bleeding

i wonder if my life is trying to teach me how to resist fear

of all the thoughts these stupid people are thinking of me

and resilience so I can rise above their heartless sneers

how to just stop giving a fuck about their meaningless opinions about me

how to let go of all the pain that hangs near

how to just be me

without letting all these people

dictate my fucking life

hate my fucking soul

and chase me from my dreams and goals

 

i can’t let these people drive me to the edge of life

so I’ve got to try to find a way to hold on until everything is alright

i can be me without their approval, i don’t need the knife

because it’s my own soul I have to fight

 

why do I care so much what these people think?

when all they ever do is hurt my heart

i don’t want to spend my life feeling so out of sync

with who I am, and who they are

these people aren’t worthy of my pain

i don’t think their hatred is personal

obsessed with technology and gore

they’re just delusional

they have no souls, all they care about is war

these people aren’t my people

anymore

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Published by

S.D.G

I love playing badminton above all else. I also really love water - swimming, soaking in a hottub, spending hours in a steam room or doing polar bear swims. I used to be really into wilderness survival & kayaking, but now I enjoy the finer things in life, like relaxation, comforts, spas, riches and anything pleasant. Poetry and song writing is just how I express myself and cope with life. I have a history of mental illness, eating disorders and addiction, plus I was a cancer survivor. Spirituality and healthy living is really important in my life. My art and novel writing is something I enjoy sometimes but not all times. Some people tell me I should sell it but it's just a hobby. You are more than welcome to support me if you like: paypal.me/sdgeiger

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